The Razz Presents: Your Thanksgiving Day NFL Watch Guide

Lindsay2

by @lindsvanna  IMG_4965 (1)

I’ve elected to drive 6 hours to the middle of nowhere Kansas for Thanksgiving this year. While my personal Thanksgiving Day priorities are as follows:

Food
Booze
Naps
Maybe board games with my cousins
Football

There probably isn’t going to be a whole lot else to keep me entertained. If you’re in the same boat as me, I’m here for you. My Thanksgiving Day NFL watch guide can help get you up to speed, even if your team isn’t playing on Thursday (or maybe you don’t have a team at all); complete with optional drinking game:

11:30am CT: Eagles @ Lions 
Watch if you value: drinking before noon, eating in front of the TV, post-lunch tryptophan naps, as well as no-huddle offenses, questionable personnel decisions, and a lot of half-ass effort in the miserable NFC East.
Game time cocktail:
Tequila Sunrise Mimosas
1 part tequila
1 part champagne
2 parts orange juice
Splash of grenadine

One or two of these and your memory will be as good as Sam Bradford’s.
Drink every time: Someone on Twitter thinks Chip Kelly should go back to coaching college.

 

3:30pm CT: Panthers @ Cowboys
Watch if you value: drinking before playing Cards Against Humanity with family members (highly recommended), Tony Romo’s repaired clavicle, fuckboys, Carolina blue, undefeated underdogs, dabbing (either kind).
Game time cocktail:
Air Force One
2 parts Hpnotiq
1 part vodka
Squeeze lemon juice
Splash of Sprite

Because America’s team deserves an American drink. Also, because I imagine Cam Newton orders bottles of Hpnotiq wherever he goes.
Drink every time: A Panther who isn’t Cam Newton does a dance that will inpsire #hottakes from outraged white people.

 

7:30pm CT: Bears @ Packers
Watch if you value: drinking at a grandma-approved time of day, Packers scoring a touchdown on their first possession, Olivia Munn not taking anyone’s shit, sexting, boring stats about “special” and “historical” games.
Game time cocktail:
Red Hot Cider
Because it’s fking cold in Green Bay

Heat 1 qt apple juice in a saucepan with 1/4 cup red hot candies on medium heat until candies are melted
Serve 2 parts red hot cider with one part Fireball cinnamon whiskey.

Drink every time: an announcer mentions that this is the 192nd time the Bears and the Packers have played each other and/or the first time they’ve played on Thanksgiving.

Questions? Comments? Leave one below or find Lindsay on Twitter @sprotstakes @lindsvanna 

 

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